Bless up from your feet to your ed top

we go again

Love thy brother don’t lay with him. Leave that to the destiny God has laid out for him

What does that mean?

In the world I was bought up in many of us didn’t have father figures, there was rarely any in these spaces so we had to look after each other. We grew up on movies and shows like; Remember the Titans, 5brothers, Scarface, Godfather, The Sopranos, Naruto, One Piece, Prison Break. Shows of that ilk that displayed to you what a brother was supposed to be and how you should be. There were also messages in Gangs, Football and all team sports-related, shows us that men will work better as a family and a unit, treat each other with respect and covers him. Be your brother’s keeper, have my back I have your, lean on me. Messages of support and oneness bonds that can be.

(This is directed towards men because I am one but I’m sure it happens in all types of relationships)

These messages get skewed in hard times and when the relationship isn’t as strong as it once was people will change and grow. The men that became your brothers start getting fear of loss and may start pulling you down out of a jaded sense of love because of how scary change is. Many men come from a really good place, the crabs in the bucket mentality grips us and may develop as a schema to hold each other back and down.

The point isn’t to destroy a great relationship but to build an adult relationship, built on change and growth. the biggest deal right now is that when a relationship is built on youth and childish actions like clubbing, drinking, smoking and keeping score/ chasing skirt, it leaves out room to not grow.

That ground is marshland, yes you can build up one story maybe two or three, but when the idea is to grow exponentially it is not solid enough to reach any heights higher than humanly possible. In fact, it will only be torn down by acts of nature. The money is missing, love gets involved, someone gets to their life goals quicker it will be hard for anyone to handle that.

The relationship has to be built on the greatest ground possible, you can start on the marsh, meet each other there, learn you’re equals then move from that land to a more solid fertile land built to last. Then you must engineer ideals both of you can rely on in all situations, if not there’s chances of failure. What does this look like:

  • understanding each other honestly
  • Create philosophies you can agree on
  • Know how you can treat women
  • What is money to the both of you

There are simple idealistic things that are so pertinent to building an honest personal relationship, because in reality, more times a man sees you with a girl and sees you drifting away from him. Instead of thinking that space between you should be filled by his own Mrs he’s thinking that void can only be filled by you, and now he becomes a source of toxicity to your relationship causing you to cheat or even making it seem okay to you, when your true happiness is being with your Mrs.

There’s certain man that see you doing well creating, equity in your business, or even you want to start a business and he wants to say ‘you sure?’ you tell him you’ve been on it for years and you’re ready to bite the bullet, now he becomes a source of doubt to your success. even if you hit the belly on one of your clients, he’s looking at your businesses money as yours and his money, and now you kill your business by spending your hard earned cash on nights out.

If you’re this type of friend stop. I’m speaking directly to the people that feel bad when their friend is doing good without them. On the business front it’s hard to even structure your finances and things of that nature. But on a pure relationship basis if you feel your friend drifting and it’s not a depressive thing and he even seems happier then it’s your job to be oxygen to that fire keeping his happiness alive because that drift can steer you to becoming a better person and direct you to your destiny.

What is the point of you being cheeky to your friends business or girl when he’s always wanted good for you. You have to know yourself, there’s no need to read any books to know the difference between the right and wrong way to act. We know the emotion of when you feel down about others feeling good without you, and it’s your job to snuff that out.

Everybody has their own time and yours will come the spotlight, that time will your time and the spotlight will be on you. That will be the cause for your celebration. So when it’s your friends turn you celebrate because we need to know how to reinforce positive activity in your friends life. You should know yours will come and there is no time to be hating.


Your friend would do terrible without his success and if your relationship isn’t built on true emotion (then what’s the point) you may not know how hard and fragile he’s feeling on the inside and the type of light this woman or business brings him.


Fan that flame of your friend he is trying to feel better about himself so he becomes a greater person let that beacon shine.


That sparing wind you feel between you two, that void. Find something to hold you down and use that extra time to explore your wants and needs and what will be your life’s purpose because lord knows you may also need one.

It’s important that you know your place and role in this world, brotherhood is so important and if you know yourself it’s even more important to know when you’re being toxic and when you’re not. If your friend really loves this person or this work have a fiesta for him because when you’re up you’re also going to want and need it.

There are enough people running against you and your clique and there can’t be infighting between brothers because of a disagreement or someone feels like their being outshined. Treat that shine as a lighthouse in a storm to wake you up to the fact of life, you have to grow change and evolve because whether you realise it or not, you want to be better and different and new elements of life & change does that to men.

Whatever Moves Your Dial

Damilare. Not Your Typical

Follow my socials Instagram: @nytypical Twitter: @nytypical

To learn more about Owning Your Own Ship – OYOS  

Please check out Some of my Thoughts On:

For some longer form write ups Read some of My Dialogues

Click here for my Essays 

 On My series work

Spring Of The Rookie

Sickle Cell Companion

Owning Your Own Ship



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