Pain Of Passion

It’s so weird to talk on a subject such as this as it hits so close to home. We all know of John Lennon, Robin Williams & Basquiat Alexander McQueen. People that moved the culture forward like  Hemingway, Francis & Zelda Fitzgerald and Kanye West most know today who are plagued with demons that come in all shapes and sizes. We could honestly name 101 artists that have their own problems they are fighting here and there. Point being what is the cost of doing something you love.

I tell myself daily from pain comes to my best work, if I’m not in a state of comfort mostly mental that thing that drives me won’t be as strong as it should be to create a great story or concept. Now I do so much for the sake of my love of the sport it is simply a thrill to create something of great worth to me, then for other people to like and accept it is a beast of its own. But how much is this state of imminent peril worth, and with notoriety comes anticipation, the anticipation of people wanting more, Can he be better; Can he top his last work; Has he stagnated; Was she just a one hit wonder.

I now can only imagine the pressure to do well then compared to now. I think we can effectively say with art comes the recreational flavours of the World. All rappers can talk about is their use of Weed, Alcohol, Extasy & Drug addled orgies now how many of them are having fun or holding in some sort of pain that they are not ready to deal with. When it comes to my life there have been absurd amounts of Pain involved from a very young age and in dealing with many mental battles to just fight on, coming to peace having nothing to do with creating. Doing what I do brings me joy but there is that part of me that always wonders what will I create if I treated my life like Earnest did, Drinking and smoking at a typewriter trying to pull from the very depths of my imagination the best stories possible. Now, being a University student I have had my fun in that uncontrollable realm but I will reiterate it had nothing to do with creating it had more to do with the Celebration of a deadline or things of that nature.

What I want to know is what does it take to create great works, or what is considered “Great” sober, because all of whom I listen to and information I consume turns to the the former “With great works, comes great demon to be fought”. Ultimately Great pain follows because demons never leave they transmute. What’s that say to a Young Turk like me, yes I’ve got my own internal demons but the path to creating a great work is seemingly laid out?  You must control that demon with external forces in order to be able to create something substantial, as if that damn is always there playing on your mind uncontrolled you’ll never be able to get out the thing you want to say comfortably, in a digestible way for your audience. This is up for philosophical debate. What is your passion worth to you?

“I won’t underestimate who I am, capable of becoming.” – Benjamin Clementine

This has been

Not Your Typical

NYT: Lord of Light, Kibou (hope)

Hope I’ve got a lot of it, it’s been apart of my life since the beginning stemming from religion to evolve to my genuine belief in humanity. I’ve never really lost it but there is a thing I do now, I’ve been told I I must defend it at all cost and have no intention of giving it up.

The moment I realized I had something was first with a great friend Zion when I spoke he listened. Attentively at that, I’ve never had someone do that before, he told me it was because I believed in something much more than what he’s seen. The next time was with another great man Jay he said to defend it and never lose it. (Honorary mention to Matt Iqra and Amina who all believed in me before I believed in myself).

This is where the problem started, the thing about defending something you have no idea that you have is, the plain and simple fact you have no idea what you are defending. That is right I do not know what I “have” but people on numerous occasions said it’s “something” and to this day I have no idea what they are talking about, I’ve got something, it’s there I don’t see it.

I will explain to you what I believe and if there is something, so rightly so. If there isn’t then smoke has been blown way up my a(double sticks) into the dark reaches of my soul . I believe there is something more to our generation, like most I see the follys but ignore them all the more because we’re nearing a pivotal point most have not seen the self realisation of ones self day by day I witness people understanding they are better than they could be.

I love to listen to people’s dreams goals and aspirations because I genuinely believe they can reach them the climate is so open and our generation is so rich in fruitful ideas I’ve seen us get closer to a creative state far from warring and closer to togetherness. ( and I’m not talking about this “love is the answer” thing people do.) I understand there are people that compete for spots and people that create their own let’s just say the amount of people creating there own is at 21% and those competing is at 79% to make my view the most conservative as possible. What I’m saying is we are better, we can do more and be more than those before us. More of us are here to be the leaders that we need to be than follow the path that is laid out for us pure and simple.

As a minor take for my view on things, I’m a better orator than an author of this ideal but I understand this is what you call hope. This type of hope I’m realising is rare and time and time again people have tried to take it from me, and time and time again I’ve had to defend it to the point that now I feel like never uttering a word from the Spark of hope and those two men I have aforementioned have told me I’ve changed. The reason is simple I’m not trying to lose what I may or may not have because it might help someone sometime in someplace that might need it because I have but I see more reason every day to believe in people than not. And that is all I will say on that matter. Come at me stealers of Dreams and sniffers of hope!

We’re learning more of – Whatever Moves Your Dial

Damilare. Not Your Typical

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OYOS — Owning Your Own Ship 2/3 (Jacob the Jeweller)

Where we left off I was recently trumped the Gatekeeper but snubbed by a high end used car salesman. Keeping that in mind my brain was moving faster trying to figure out how I had done it the first time and wanted to repeat the action.

Moving at double time, my change of pace was evident in my stride, heart ferociously thumping from my last head to head with a senior management frame. I can honestly say I had a smile on my face, I had done something I had never done before,  I had the cajones to do something 90% of people had never done. Those that would say I took a loss can’t even fathom doing it for themselves. For this, I was happy.

Now I head into the hub of the city on foot I took a b line straight to my next point, The Jeweler. When I met Jacob is probably still one of my favored points at the time, the moment I never let anything that happened affect my attitude towards what I needed to accomplish.

Taking all forces into consideration I walked into the Jewellers with an assertion about me. Multiple female store attendants around me I said simply

‘I would love to work here can I speak to the manager?’

She kindly showed me to a woman I knew full well wasn’t the manager. no fuss from me though. From previous experience, I gladly accepted the challenge. The phrase I believe changed everything was;

“I don’t believe you can learn anything from my CV that you can’t learn right now.”

I think this line is the Line that made me kindred and got me my meeting with the Managing Director Jacob. I was asked to take a seat, like a commoner, sitting down is like death if you cannot handle it correctly. That in mind I kept my mind clear of all prepositions, doing and acting like myself is what got me here, Let’s not change anything now. I waited a solid ten mins for the same woman to come back and say… “Will you be free in half an hour, he’s with a client.” When you have nothing but time, it must be spent doing things like bending to the power frame, I was still overjoyed I got passed the gate-keeper I said ‘of course I can.‘ With a look gleaming with positivity.

Most people who weren’t prepared would be spinning at this point ‘omg‘ ‘I can’t believe it‘ ‘why do I have to wait so long‘ ‘Do they know who I am‘ The answer to all of those is don’t be a moron they know nothing, you are nobody until you’ve made them believe you’re somebody… Now get your head out your arse, please. You have a blank slate and opportunity to prove yourself, now let’s make this a movie. Good God.

The story of the detour I will release sometime later, the day hour I bested a store clerk,

The story of the detour I will release sometime later, the hour I bested the black clerk. Let’s just get to the meat and potatoes of this story. I got back a little earlier than usual, I didn’t care I was excited and wanted to meet this man who had been so elusive. I got there, they asked me if I wanted a coffee, I said yes. Big mistake. The coffee was piping hot and didn’t cool till like half an hour later, they knew what they were doing. Only I didn’t know what they were doing. (At this point to me a coffee was only a coffee and I love lattes.) Always get the water sealed bottle or nothing, needless to say, I burned my tongue and it was furry the whole time. It didn’t stop me as I always burned my tongue with coffee but the fact of the matter is it’s just silly to ask.

Just to put it out there, in retrospect they did everything in their power to show that they were better than me and I was too nieve to even notice. Still am just a little more understanding of what I’m worth and my stature in many more situations. Respect given and taken is important, this situation demanded a healthy balance. Let me put it out there I got the Job. Just didn’t take it. 

Jacob walks in standing well over six foot, and a strong ability to look over my head. I still see his hand reach out to grip mine, we gripped hands and I gave off the most beaming expression I had that day. I had finally done it, I got past the gatekeeper and lead myself right to the decision maker. The hardest thing to do in the area of work and accomplished in the second attempt. Of course, I had a beaming expression on my face. This was the GUY!

We both sat down and got to brass tacks, the exchange of frames was so powerful our back and went on for a good 90minutes. I was there to preach one thing and the thing I knew best, principles. My guiding principles that got me to where I was to that day selling and what it means to sell, how I sold in the rain How I sold to a deaf man, yes DEAF man. Never scamming my way into or out of a situation. Jacob spoke about the long-term values of the company how to bring a customer back. How to have someone who is just like them. The creativity in the position was high the way you could advance was far. Defining questions I came in with

“How much does your best person make?”

“How long have they been with you?”

“How much does the worst person make?” 

“What would you say differentiates you from the competition?”

I say that to say this it wasn’t just about emotions and being there and being brazen, it was much much more. The ability to understand what a “Leader” thinks about his people and to read when someone is telling the truth is a big and great thing to fully grasp. You nor I can work for just anyone, this is the thing I see many miss. What separated me wasn’t just my brazen nature (back then) but the values I knew I wanted to exist in the company I worked for. You see people haven’t thrown any big number at me because they felt I had bullied my way into the position but because of the value someone with my mindset brought to the table. Whether a top earner in the company or not, a mindset is contagious when put on display.

In a nutshell, I won Jacob over not because of my brazen nature but because of my attitude towards my work. I prefaced my ability to win him over because of what I had accomplished. And I was very accomplished in a specific way. As long as he is managing the store I always have a place there, some unexpected events happened and I ended back home. Where the Law was laid and the event in Trafalgar took place.

Whatever Moves Your Dial

Damilare. Not Your Typical

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