Be Your Brothers Keeper, not a keeper from your Brothers Destiny

Bless up from your feet to your ed top

we go again

Love thy brother don’t lay with him. Leave that to the destiny God has laid out for him

What does that mean?

In the world I was bought up in many of us didn’t have father figures, there was rarely any in these spaces so we had to look after each other. We grew up on movies and shows like; Remember the Titans, 5brothers, Scarface, Godfather, The Sopranos, Naruto, One Piece, Prison Break. Shows of that ilk that displayed to you what a brother was supposed to be and how you should be. There were also messages in Gangs, Football and all team sports-related shows that men work better as a family and a unit treats each other with respect and covers him. Be your brother’s keeper, have my back I have your, lean on me. Messages of support and oneness bonds that can be.

(This is directed towards men because I am one but I’m sure it happens in all types of relationships)

These messages get skewed in hard times and when the relationship isn’t as strong as it once was. People will change and grow, the men that became your brothers start getting fear of loss and may start pulling you down out of a jaded sense of love because of how scary change is. Many men come from a really good place the crabs in the bucket mentality may develop and schemes may arise to hold each other back and down.

The point isn’t to destroy a great relationship but to build an adult relationship built on change and growth, the biggest deal right now is that when a relationship is built on youth and childish actions like clubbing, drinking, smoking keeping score and chasing skirt, it leaves out room to not grow that ground is marshland, yes you can build up one story maybe two or three, but when the idea is to grow exponentially it is not solid enough to reach any heights higher than humanly possible. In fact, it will only be torn down by acts of nature. The money is missing, love gets involved, someone gets to their life goals quicker it will be hard for anyone to handle that.

The relationship has to be built on the greatest ground possible, you can start on the marsh, meet each other there, learn you’re equals then move from that land to a more solid fertile land built to last. Then you must engineer ideals both of you can rely on in all situations, if not there’s chances of failure. What does this look like:

  • understanding each other honestly
  • Create philosophies you can agree on
  • Know how you can treat women
  • What is money to the both of you

There are simple idealistic thugs that are so pertinent to building an honest personal relationship because in reality, more times a man sees you with a girl and sees you drifting. Instead of thinking that room should be filled by his own Mrs he’s thinking that void can only be filled by you and now he becomes a source of toxicity to your relationship causing you to cheat or even making it seem okay to when your true happiness is being with your Mrs. There’s certain man that see you doing well creating equity in your business, or even you want to start a business and he wants to say you sure, you tell him you’ve been on it for years and you’re ready to bite the bullet now he becomes a source of doubt to your success, even you hit the belly on one of your clients then he’s looking at your businesses money as yours and his money and now you kill your business by spending your hard earned cash on nights out.

If you’re this type of friend stop. I’m speaking directly to the people that feel bad wen their friend is doing good without them. On the business front it’s hard to even structure your finances and other things but on a pure relationship basis if you feel your friend drifting and it’s not a terrible thing and he seems happier then it’s your job to be oxygen to that happiness because that drift can steer you to becoming a better person and direct you to your destiny because what is the point of you being cheeky to your friends business or girl when he’s never wanted that for you. You have to know yourself, there’s no need to read any books to know this but you know the emotion of when you feel down about others feeling good without you and it’s your job to snuff that out.

Everybody has their own time and yours will come the spotlight will be on you and in your time you will be the cause for celebration. So when it’s your friends turn you celebrate because you know yours will come and there is no time to be hating.

1

Your friend would do terrible without his success and if your relationship isn’t built on true emotion (then what’s the point) you may not know how hard and fragile he’s feeling on the inside and the type of light this woman or business brings him.

2

Fan that flame if your friend is trying to feel better about themselves and become a greater person let that beacon shine.

3

That sparing wind you feel between you two find something to hold you down use that extra time to explore your wants and needs and what will be your life’s purpose because lord knows you may also need one.

It’s important that you know your place and role in this world brotherhood is so important and if you know yourself it’s even more important to know when you’re being toxic and when you’re not. If your friend really loves this person or this work has a fiesta for him because when you’re up you’re also going to want and need it.

There are enough people running against you and your clique and there can’t be infighting between brothers because of a disagreement or someone feels like their being outshined. Treat that shine as a lighthouse in a storm to wake you up to the fact of life, you have to grow change and evolve because whether you realise it or not, you want to be better and different and new elements of life & change does that to men.

Whatever Moves Your Dial

Damilare. Not Your Typical

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To learn more about Owning Your Own Ship – OYOS  

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 On My series work

Spring Of The Rookie

Sickle Cell Companion

Owning Your Own Ship

Rhyme & Reason: Make the decision to live on purpose #PrimeNYT

We go again,

Recently I had a revelation and that revelation can’t be explained outside context and that context comes in a question — That question is; who do you want to be?

I asked myself this question for a short amount of time (Macro). It took me months to wrap my head round who I wanted to be it took me months. Not to plan my life or how I want to make money or what job I want. Those are still being understood, what I really ended up doing for years was asking myself who I wanted to be.

I knew this question was important because I have earned enough money/ known I can make a commission of my skills/ get a contract and I’ve gained enough notoriety and fame to where people knew me for one thing and in all of that I never felt whole.

I’ve come to find out I had to ask myself who do I want to be. I was blessed with gifts and an amazing talent which has earned me many creative skill which means I earned choice and the thing with choice is when you have to much life can get tricky when you’re starting out because you know no matter what you can always find another way. However to really win in life you need to make a choice within your options, and I have an abundance of options to choose from which opens doors for me but that doesn’t always means those opportunities are mine.

I have never felt good doing just anything and making money in “whatever way I can”. I have always been intentional and wanted to live my life on purpose. I have the intense ability to work hard and work a lot that isn’t the case for everyone but for me it meant these choices were not all the way positive because if I’m someone that lives life on purpose I have to make the decision and choose who I want to be. So I asked myself who do I want to be and make the decision.

What I learned in my abundance of opportunities because of my skill is that not every opportunity is right for me and I had to give myself a guiding philosophy and live by principles that made sense for what I wanted to engage in long term. These philosophies and principle came from all the questions I asked myself for years on end in order to truly gauge what really matters, as when I found out what mattered I found my purpose and when I found my purpose I truly distinguished myself as someone who knew what they were doing.

You see it’s not the statement of me living life on purpose that’s the key it’s my principles as a humans I created in determining what I want to do with my life that bought me to the answer of the question “who do I want to be”. I find no matter who you are if you find the answer to that you will live a more meaningful life, not an easier one or a more fun one more meaningful because you were a better person.

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NYT Style: Doing Deals in Durags #PrimeNYT

Bless up from your feet to your head top

We go again

I’ve recently had a vision of me in my durag doing my thing and finishing deals with my hoodie and durag. For some reason that’s an image to me, I remember in 2016/17 no one was wearing durags even further back, 2002 I remember my first durag, baby blue silky. My brothers would laugh at me, nothing different with 2016

I said to myself if imma do my hair up and cut it all off I will wear a durag and generally it was with the intention of bringing the durag back, I would wear a durag everyday everywhere I went and by 2018 everyone was wearing Durags

My brothers told me I looked like a felon, I looked like Tyrone, wondering why would leave the house wearing a durag. This is 2016, no one knew what I was on even my nephew had some stuff to say.

I will tell you this, I don’t care about the negative stereotypes of the durag it’s one of my favourite accessories and I flourish wearing one, like I’ve said I like wearing headwear, durag included. A durag is like a ritual, my Karate kid bandana, my durag does something whenever I put it on.

I would rock it round London got looks and stares from the kids for a good couple months but I say this, by summer durags started popping up on others heads including my brothers now.

I’m not saying people don’t think Negative things when I wear my durag or other kids don’t it’s the fact no one cares the point of the game is to be myself and myself a lot of the time is me in my hoodie and durag.

I’m comfortable and my comfort is my luxury being myself means much more than what anyone else thinks.

That’s what I have to say about that

Whatever Moves Your Dial

Damilare. Not Your Typical

Follow my socials

Instagram: @nytypical Twitter: @nytypical Facebook: fb.me/nytypical

Please check out Some of my Thoughts On:

For some longer form write ups Read some of My Dialogues

Click here for my Essays 

To learn more about Owning Your Own Ship – OYOS