Be Your Brothers Keeper, not a keeper from your Brothers Destiny

Love thy brother don’t lay with him. Leave that to the destiny God has laid out for him

What does that mean?

In the world I was bought up in many of us didn’t have father figures, there was rarely any in these spaces so we had to look after each other. We grew up on movies and shows like; Remember the Titans, 5brothers, Scarface, Godfather, The Sopranos, Naruto, One Piece, Prison Break. Shows of that ilk that displayed to you what a brother was supposed to be and how you should be. There were also messages in Gangs, Football and all team sports related shows that men work better as a family and a unit treat each other with respect and cover him. Be your brothers keeper, have my back I have your, lean on me. Messages of support and oneness bonds that can be.

(This is directed towards men because I am one but I’m sure it happens in all types of relationships)

These messages get skewed in hard times and when the relationship isn’t as strong as it once was. People will change and grow, the men that became your brothers start getting fear of loss and may start pulling you down out of a jaded sense of love because of how scary change is. Many men come from a really good place the crabs in the bucket mentality may develop and schemes may arise to hold each other back and down.

The point isn’t to destroy a great relationship but to build an adult relationship built on change and growth, the biggest deal right now is that when a relationship is built on youth and childish actions like clubbing, drinking, smoking keeping score and chasing skirt, it leaves out room to not grow that ground is marshland, yes you can build up one story maybe two or three, but when the idea is to grow exponentially it is not solid enough to reach any heights higher than humanly possible. In fact it will only be torn down by acts of nature. The money is missing, love gets involved, someone gets to their life goals quicker it will be hard for anyone to handle that.

The relationship has to be built on the greatest ground possible, you can start on the marsh, meet each other there, learn you’re equals then move from that land to a more solid fertile land built to last. Then you must engineer ideals both of you can rely on in all situations, if not there’s chances of failure. What does this look like:

  • understanding each other honestly
  • Create philosophies you can agree on
  • Know how you can treat women
  • What is money to the both of you

There are simple idealistic thugs that are so pertinent to building an honest personal relationship because in reality, more times a man sees you with a girl and sees you drifting. Instead of thinking that room should be filled by his own Mrs he’s thinking that void can only be filled by you and now he becomes a source of toxicity to your relationship causing you to cheat or even making it seem okay to when your true happiness is being with your Mrs. There’s certain man that see you doing well creating equity in your business, or even you want to start a business and he wants to say you sure, you tell him you’ve been on it for years and you’re ready to bite the bullet now he becomes a source of doubt to your success, even you hit the belly on one of your clients then he’s looking at your businesses money as yours and his money and now you kill your business by spending your hard earned cash on nights out.

If you’re this type of friend stop. I’m speaking directly to the people that feel bad wen their friend is doing good without them. On the business front it’s hard to even structure your finances and other things but on a pure relationship basis if you feel your friend drifting and it’s not a terrible thing and he seems happier then it’s your job to be oxygen to that happiness because that drift can steer you to becoming a better person and direct you to your destiny because what is the point of you being cheeky to your friends business or girl when he’s never wanted that for you. You have to know yourself, there’s no need to read any books to know this but you know the emotion of when you feel down about others feeling good without you and it’s your job to snuff that out.

Everybody has their own time and yours will come the spotlight will be on you and in your time you will be the cause for celebration. So when it’s your friends turn you celebrate because you know yours will come and there is no time to be hating.

1

Your friend would do terrible without his success and if your relationship isn’t built on true emotion (then what’s the point) you may not know how hard and fragile he’s feeling on the inside and the type of light this woman or business brings him.

2

Fan that flame if your friend is trying to feel better about themselves and become a greater person let that beacon shine.

3

That sparing wind you feel between you two find something to hold you down use that extra time to explore your wants and needs and what will be your life’s purpose because lord knows you may also need one.

It’s important that you know your place and role in this world brotherhood is so important and if you know yourself it’s even more important to know when you’re being toxic and when you’re not. If your friend really loves this person or this work have a fiesta for him because when you’re up you’re also going to want and need it.

There’s enough people running against you and your clique and there can’t be infighting between brothers because of a disagreement or someone feels like their being outshined. Treat that shine as a light house in a storm to wake you up to the fact of life, you have to grow change and evolve because whether you realise it or not, you want to be better and different and new elements of life & change does that to men.

Rhyme & Reason: Make the decision to live on purpose #PrimeNYT

We go again,

Recently I had a revelation and that revelation can’t be explained outside context and that context comes in a question — That question is; who do you want to be?

I asked myself this question for a short amount of time (Macro). It took me months to wrap my head round who I wanted to be it took me months. Not to plan my life or how I want to make money or what job I want. Those are still being understood, what I really ended up doing for years was asking myself who I wanted to be.

I knew this question was important because I have earned enough money/ known I can make a commission of my skills/ get a contract and I’ve gained enough notoriety and fame to where people knew me for one thing and in all of that I never felt whole.

I’ve come to find out I had to ask myself who do I want to be. I was blessed with gifts and an amazing talent which has earned me many creative skill which means I earned choice and the thing with choice is when you have to much life can get tricky when you’re starting out because you know no matter what you can always find another way. However to really win in life you need to make a choice within your options, and I have an abundance of options to choose from which opens doors for me but that doesn’t always means those opportunities are mine.

I have never felt good doing just anything and making money in “whatever way I can”. I have always been intentional and wanted to live my life on purpose. I have the intense ability to work hard and work a lot that isn’t the case for everyone but for me it meant these choices were not all the way positive because if I’m someone that lives life on purpose I have to make the decision and choose who I want to be. So I asked myself who do I want to be and make the decision.

What I learned in my abundance of opportunities because of my skill is that not every opportunity is right for me and I had to give myself a guiding philosophy and live by principles that made sense for what I wanted to engage in long term. These philosophies and principle came from all the questions I asked myself for years on end in order to truly gauge what really matters, as when I found out what mattered I found my purpose and when I found my purpose I truly distinguished myself as someone who knew what they were doing.

You see it’s not the statement of me living life on purpose that’s the key it’s my principles as a humans I created in determining what I want to do with my life that bought me to the answer of the question “who do I want to be”. I find no matter who you are if you find the answer to that you will live a more meaningful life, not an easier one or a more fun one more meaningful because you were a better person.

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NYT Style: Doing Deals in Durags #PrimeNYT

Bless up from your feet to your head top

We go again

I’ve recently had a vision of me in my durag doing my thing and finishing deals with my hoodie and durag. For some reason that’s an image to me, I remember in 2016/17 no one was wearing durags even further back, 2002 I remember my first durag, baby blue silky. My brothers would laugh at me, nothing different with 2016

I said to myself if imma do my hair up and cut it all off I will wear a durag and generally it was with the intention of bringing the durag back, I would wear a durag everyday everywhere I went and by 2018 everyone was wearing Durags

My brothers told me I looked like a felon, I looked like Tyrone, wondering why would leave the house wearing a durag. This is 2016, no one knew what I was on even my nephew had some stuff to say.

I will tell you this, I don’t care about the negative stereotypes of the durag it’s one of my favourite accessories and I flourish wearing one, like I’ve said I like wearing headwear, durag included. A durag is like a ritual, my Karate kid bandana, my durag does something whenever I put it on.

I would rock it round London got looks and stares from the kids for a good couple months but I say this, by summer durags started popping up on others heads including my brothers now.

I’m not saying people don’t think Negative things when I wear my durag or other kids don’t it’s the fact no one cares the point of the game is to be myself and myself a lot of the time is me in my hoodie and durag.

I’m comfortable and my comfort is my luxury being myself means much more than what anyone else thinks.

That’s what I have to say about that

Whatever Moves Your Dial

Damilare. Not Your Typical

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Please check out Some of my Thoughts On:

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Rhyme and Reason: What are you REALLY willing to do to become Yourself — By Principle not Profit #PrimeNYT

Bless up from your feet to your headtop

We Go Again,

Do people know they can be an artist without being a celebrity and full blown tour entertainer ?

If your role in life is artist you should be very happy with being able to live off the land travel and be a human person not bonded by the prism of how we should be.

Isn’t being an artist not needing to be held by the standard of economics people think they should live by.

I’d go as far to say you would be very being a bum (by social standards) than having to conform to social and economic norms, because you are very happy producing art

This ideal goes the same for soldier, policeman, teacher, fireman, social activist And everyone else who lives by a moralistic standard and not economic one

Certain jobs don’t arise for economic purposes they derive value from how they feed you as a person and come from core beliefs and principle… The only question is how far are you willing to go for those?

This is not one of those times where I say “maybe I’m the weird one” . This is truly the understanding of living by a standard of morals and upholding principles of it than succumbing to economic ideologues who say ‘… should get paid more than footballers’

These professions aren’t about the money they are about the principle and by principle economics does not dictate how good this person is at their job

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We’re learning more of – Whatever Moves Your Dial

Damilare. Not Your Typical

Follow my socials Instagram: @nytypical Twitter: @nytypical

Please check out Some of my Thoughts On:

For some longer form write ups Read some of My Dialogues

Click here for my Essays 

To learn more about Owning Your Own Ship – OYOS  

Rhyme and Reason: Where does the Light giver turn to? God is the one I turn to #PrimeNYT

Bless up from your feet to your head top, keep your neck up,

We go Again

People have often asked me “if you’re everyone’s person, who do you turn to” my answer has been silent for a long time.

That absence of an answer has left me longing for a human connection with someone that understands me, who I am & what I go through. For so long I had asked myself questions; deep penetrating questions since I was a kid. I would talk to myself everyday trying to figure it out and of the parts I did have figured out I would share it with people.

This had people coming back to me for some time but it would not have them respect me as a person I would be someone they take from but would never feel a need to give back to. I would shield them from forsakers when they were not looking and I wouldn’t look for thanks I would want them to be good.

As a person I would expect them to be better humans because no one was coming after them, instead they felt untouchable and that they didn’t need me… my own folly. The day they left would induce a fall from grace, I never liked that not ever.

In 2016-2018 I found myself being the weirdos amongst artists, no one really to relate to, no one who understood me, no one to challenge me or to channel the energy I put out back into me.

So I sit in my room and contemplate my existence hours on end searching for reason and meaning bringing myself to a place to that I can say I like, the meaning I sought after has taken me away from vices and certain toxic behaviour and brought me to a calmer status of life.

The only person I can truly talk to is myself and the only person I lean on is God.

‘Lean on me when you’re not strong, I’ll help you carry on, for it won’t be long till I’m going to need somebody to lean on.’

Such a statement on the world I can’t help but think about while writing this, I ask and God responds. I just want to be a better person for myself and for the people in this world and I find the questions I ask no one, not one of my contemporaries can answer; there is no peer or mentor who feels to seek within themselves a better them in this life. Some of us seek money and admiration, I seek myself on my time on this Earth.

Funny thing is I know exactly who I am and exactly what I am supposed to do I am really just compelled by human persuasion thinking someone like me can’t be accepted by the likes of them. Most of all the people I look up to have been killed by humans, what type of future does that bode for someone like me?

So I turn to God, ask him why me, why this way, why love, why do so many people despair, why can I wash it away, why does speaking to me make other people feel better, why can I draw out somebody’s greatness. The questions go on and on and they roll around my mind seeking to be answered now not by man but by God, I know exactly what I’m capable of why can’t I be selfish with it. Why don’t I care about money or admiration or love of people who are not God? I have no idea how to answer those question and I know those questions aren’t of this world either.

We’re learning more of – Whatever Moves Your Dial

Damilare. Not Your Typical

Follow my socials Instagram: @nytypical Twitter: @nytypical

Please check out Some of my Thoughts On:

For some longer form write ups Read some of My Dialogues

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To learn more about Owning Your Own Ship – OYOS  

#PrimeNYT Culture And Camaraderie Podcast Episode 9: Perfect Presence (@camaraderiepod)

We Go Again,

I love this conversation Tyler and I had talking about life culture art business and tech. While I spoke on my obligation to people that are like me. Accepting that responsibility allows you to mitigate the future circumstances form happening because you can’t expect people care as much as you do. its a terrible shame however you do what you must.

This really bought us to a great point of being our best selves when working with other people in our field. Where I am allowed to be my best self and they can be there’s and the trust that goes into that.

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I talk about how I engage and focus totally at the point in hand. Live right now, today. as I say it, Also the idea off respecting the job you have in front of you so you can have others respect the job, your skill level, your space required and you can respect them just as well

There’s a strong conversation about fashion masculinity and the codes that concern those things and much more

Whatever Moves Your Dial

Damilare Not Your Typical

Follow my socials Instagram: @nytypical Twitter: @nytypical

To learn more about Owning Your Own Ship – OYOS  

Please check out Some of my Thoughts On:

For some longer form write ups Read some of My Dialogues

Click here for my Essays 

Check out my other Podcasts

Rhyme And Reason: I Thank God for showing me how to walk in my greatness #PrimeNYT

Bless Up from your feet to your head top

We go again,

I am honestly thankful for God showing me my writing can mean something and I thank myself for making that shift and accepting it fully.

Beginning of 2019 I was supposed to be writing some fashion blogs for fun while working on my architecture and technology portfolio for university.

Then tragedy struck and I was stuck in the terror and torment of my mind and in the following six months I would despair in my mind contemplating my own mortality again. Just as when I was a kid and learned the mortality of a Sickle Cell Patient changing my work ethic forever not letting anything dim my light but knowing there was part of me that was for sure living in that terror.

I took my time and I knew I didn’t want to hate myself I didn’t want to feel like I did when I was a kid again, I wanted to be strong – so I put my feelings on the page and I would write and write and write until I was done – I shared some of my writing to one or two people; one thing led to another and I said to myself I will release these works for others to read.

My fashion writing would continue as supplementary works to take my mind off the everlasting pain and despair on the pages that I wrote on. In tandem for months I was hearing about so many asinine blogs and ideas on Sickle Cell much like the ones that made me feel less like a human when I was a kid so these people forced me to make Sickle Cell Companion share some real science and part of some of the research that I’ve have in the tuck onto my blog too. In conjunction with my fashion blogs this has led to massive growth within me.

Now I have hundreds of pieces of content dedicated to storytelling & research both passions of mine. Exposing to the people how the world is dissected through my lens and the story’s I’m able to tell. I had no idea I have so much to say and this is only the start because we haven’t even scratched the surface of what I know know what I’m capable of. All the while in the greatest working moments of my life I fall out with “friends” for none other reason than I lied to myself about us being so close. So no woe is me moment.

All the stories I want to tell and share on this site will be absolutely amazing I like the way I am able to make people feel with these and knowing people really do feel when they read what I write is an amazing blessing I wouldn’t have seen if God didn’t say walk and I followed the instructions. The shift I made was slight but my commitment to the work I’ve done is so immense that suddenly other things become secondary.

I am so happy and grateful for all I have accomplished in this small time, I’ve had some fun in this painful time. The pain rarely passes and hopefully the fun won’t either.

Stay composed and keep your neck up

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We’re learning more of – Whatever Moves Your Dial

Damilare. Not Your Typical

Follow my socials Instagram: @nytypical Twitter: @nytypical

Please check out Some of my Thoughts On:

For some longer form write ups Read some of My Dialogues

Click here for my Essays 

To learn more about Owning Your Own Ship – OYOS