We Go Again,
Are You Living your life or the life you have to live to make someone else happy? This is a question I asked all of my mentees one way or the other, as I find (especially if he/she is not creative) most of them are doing one thing or the other to create a better life for someone else and not themselves.
I say, If your reason to be great; for love; for happiness exist outside yourself i.e. in you wife, in your kids, for your parents, for the world. There is a chance that you can be taken for granted or even worse you can resent those that don’t see the worth in your actions you put forward to make them happy, to make yourself happy.
Have you ever found yourself complaining like, I can’t believe them, do they know all I do for them do they know how I have protected and defended them even when they’re not around or, I have slaved around all this time, I go to work come back, go to. work come back just so I can earn money to feed them, to clothe them, to get them gifts and this is how they treat me? I know I can see myself saying something like that at times.
When you’re a kid your parents do more than what they deem reasonable to make you happy, they want everything for you, but there’s another side, for those that got shouted at for doing something “bad” which you never knew was bad which will have you thinking that your parents are tripping, this is that thinking. They think you’re ungrateful but you as a 7 year old have no dimensionality for gratitude so it must be built. So you take your Parents “I do this so we can do that and they should thank me”… Sounds about right, right? The only Problem is that with this type of energy where is the things that you do for yourself? is anything you do for yourself anything more than a hobby? Are you living the life you wanted to live or the life that would make them happy?
People will tell you if you want this type of person you will have to live that attracts them, Have you ever lived a life that attracted yourself though? You’re guaranteed to attract someone else for sure but how much of that is really you and how much of that is a facade. How long can you keep up that facade 2, 5, 10 years. Now you can’t even recognise yourself or the person you was before you started trying to attract this person and what you had to do to keep up to make this person “HAPPY”?
I see people say they are gonna get their kids all sorts of things now their kid is dressed in Gucci and that kid is doing kid things in the baby Gucci clothes and the parents say “don’t do that its expensive”… Okay but the child would like to do child things, the kid didn’t look at this luxury outfit and say they wanted it, you did.
Sometimes we work ourselves into a state that was never needed more requested of us, we wanted it for them, we were doing these things to make THEM happy. We weren’t doing it because it was asked of us sometimes it makes you happy to see them happy other times we do things because we think it will make them happy, then if it doesn’t we still request of them gratitude or happiness or affirmation of love.
I say for those times when NOBODY asked you to do these things for them, do it from the openness of your heart and its just something you really wanted to do for them too matter what they thought of the action. Other than that do what is requested and let them know how hard that action might be, then do it anyway, surprise them sometimes with the thing they wanted and knew it was hard for you to give. This will mitigate all sorts of resentment from you and increase the gratitude of all parties involved be that your wife/husband, kid, parents or the world.
With that in mind we are able to give from a relaxed point of view, things you were going to do you’ll do without the lustful expectation of gratitude and things people want from you they can have and give the gratitude you desire multiplied because they know what you had to go through to get it without you putting on a front of ease and poise to please your ego and warping their mainframe into making them think it was no big deal.
Stay composed and keep your neck up
We’re learning more of – Whatever Moves Your Dial
Damilare. Not Your Typical
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For some longer form write ups Read some of My Dialogues
To learn more about Owning Your Own Ship – OYOS