That Which Would Kill Me

I’m feeling awful downtrodden at the moment as I have realised what was apparent to me before became a reality today. Just by understanding the laws I live by (The Principles of Man) or that which would kill me Pride. As good and as noble as I am, as much as I am a pacifist and do not live by the sword but by the pen. I fight my own battles in the field, this world we live in is not as noble as I would like it to be so I harden and grow callous to those negative behaviours and live by my rule humans are basically good.

But that is another blog, what I want to write about is the pride. As much as one can try as a Man can try pride plagues his spirit daily to fight the good fight to make one’s parents PROUD to make one’s family PROUD it’s a shame and not because pride can also save you but pride is what kills the man that sense of duty to one’s people. So who do I see as my people? The Creatives, the Artist, the colours & people of the world. It’s funny to say because I know no one will ever understand the sense of duty I fee to these 7 billion odd residence on our sapphire planet.

My sense of duty is what tugs on my ability to do things what creative answer I give my one motivation for even still being alive is to make the world a better place. It is funny again to me as I know of no one that will understand this more than the dead. See this burden I have no reservations in saying or preaching from a mountain top it is what led to the downfall of a business partnership because I see things they didn’t. Let me just say this, though I am not one of those creatives that feel their words or pictures on the screen will make the world a better place. What I do is a form of escapism it’s cathartic I understand this and feel to create the best fiction possible to allow residents to do this. Let’s get real I see nor has history given me an idea to believe that 1 singular artist body of work changed the world at large. Ruling out writings on the wall made by our ancestors I don’t see it. Unless my Art history is off then I’m sorry, please I would love for my perspective to be changed. Genuinely. I am not bashing what I love I just understand the 21st century we live in today needs a certain type of action, this is all.

Now, as far as duty goes I’ve told you before I have no idea whether I’m ready to risk going to university again. The scariest of proposals made to me, I hear it calling me. My sense of duty and more importantly pride in myself as a man was triggered, I’m not going to say how as that isn’t sauce of my mind I’m willing to let up yet however now it is a must I get that PhD I told myself I was so determined to get at 14. 10 years later I will go all the way, 6 years earlier than expected(I was to wait till I was 30 to reconvene(however I will triple major)) if only he could see it now, the straight path for me never existed did it.

I must stress this is not of my own volition this is all pride duty and a higher calling screaming at me to do so, something more powerful and more forceful than sheer human determination because I tell you now I see myself kicking and screaming internally to do the things that I have been called to do. Of my own volition, I’d be a laptop entrepreneur travel and make artworks on the side! Oh so selfish and oh so impossible, living for myself is my antithesis. I even think if, your immediate community of people you’d look out for at a drop of a dime, is less than 10 you’re not that great of a human being. You have your reasons I love you for it, doesn’t make your mentality better it. And maybe your mind and EQ doesn’t stretch that far (I won’t get into any studies but they exist) but I am built for this. That is what’s funny not many will understand, no one has asked this of me but here I am dealing with this thus ‘That Which Would Kill Me’. I am too prideful to let go of the World, I know I was built to make it better, therefore, I stand in solitude on this pursuit. I understand the death sentence I’ve given myself writing this, I exercise free will every day to make change a reality. Being a laptop Entrepreneur sure is fun but what will I do for the world really? Pray for me is all I ask.

 

As This is

Not Your Typical

We’re learning more of – Whatever Moves Your Dial

Damilare. Not Your Typical

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NYT: Lord of Light, Kibou (hope)

Hope I’ve got a lot of it, it’s been apart of my life since the beginning stemming from religion to evolve to my genuine belief in humanity. I’ve never really lost it but there is a thing I do now, I’ve been told I I must defend it at all cost and have no intention of giving it up.

The moment I realized I had something was first with a great friend Zion when I spoke he listened. Attentively at that, I’ve never had someone do that before, he told me it was because I believed in something much more than what he’s seen. The next time was with another great man Jay he said to defend it and never lose it. (Honorary mention to Matt Iqra and Amina who all believed in me before I believed in myself).

This is where the problem started, the thing about defending something you have no idea that you have is, the plain and simple fact you have no idea what you are defending. That is right I do not know what I “have” but people on numerous occasions said it’s “something” and to this day I have no idea what they are talking about, I’ve got something, it’s there I don’t see it.

I will explain to you what I believe and if there is something, so rightly so. If there isn’t then smoke has been blown way up my a(double sticks) into the dark reaches of my soul . I believe there is something more to our generation, like most I see the follys but ignore them all the more because we’re nearing a pivotal point most have not seen the self realisation of ones self day by day I witness people understanding they are better than they could be.

I love to listen to people’s dreams goals and aspirations because I genuinely believe they can reach them the climate is so open and our generation is so rich in fruitful ideas I’ve seen us get closer to a creative state far from warring and closer to togetherness. ( and I’m not talking about this “love is the answer” thing people do.) I understand there are people that compete for spots and people that create their own let’s just say the amount of people creating there own is at 21% and those competing is at 79% to make my view the most conservative as possible. What I’m saying is we are better, we can do more and be more than those before us. More of us are here to be the leaders that we need to be than follow the path that is laid out for us pure and simple.

As a minor take for my view on things, I’m a better orator than an author of this ideal but I understand this is what you call hope. This type of hope I’m realising is rare and time and time again people have tried to take it from me, and time and time again I’ve had to defend it to the point that now I feel like never uttering a word from the Spark of hope and those two men I have aforementioned have told me I’ve changed. The reason is simple I’m not trying to lose what I may or may not have because it might help someone sometime in someplace that might need it because I have but I see more reason every day to believe in people than not. And that is all I will say on that matter. Come at me stealers of Dreams and sniffers of hope!

We’re learning more of – Whatever Moves Your Dial

Damilare. Not Your Typical

Follow my socials Instagram: @nytypical Twitter: @nytypical

If you enjoyed this please check out More of Thoughts On:

For some longer form write ups Read some of My Dialogues

Click here for my Essays 

To learn more about Owning Your Own Ship – OYOS  

Full Year, New Me!

This Year has been something else. I tell you now everything I have done this year I never expected would happen for me, but then when I look back on my life I realize I deserved each and every bit of it.

Until the last quarter of the year, I was 23 so I guess you could say my 23  year was the best year ever. Reflecting on all the good work I did choices I made and how I have decided to live all was done on purpose. I can definitely say I have been living my life on purpose since I turned 23, everything from being a marketing guru to writing my first script and now this was all done on purpose.

Waking up every day full of vigor and excitement for the day to come from the 1st of January is a feeling past my threshold of expression in words, I look back and I am speechless at my true blue take on life.

Living in the way no one could stop me or even break my resolve on me knowing exactly what I wanted to do. It can be perceived as cockiness to some or really just self-esteem in its purest form. There have been times in my life where you could say I woke up on accident and the goals I had weren’t strong enough to pull me forward. Truly though since exiting University, I have had the best of times living life like I want to, learning more and faster than before gathering the knowledge interpreting it and executing it on-pointe revs me up so much for the year to come.

To marry doing what you want and getting back what you should have been a euphoric experience that I wish to not stop. Not everything was Sunny and I do not think it will get easier but the mentality that I brought to the table when it came to my challenges have been respectful and properly conducive to how I feel any 20SMTHNG should live.

I need for all my life to bring this thought process forward, it feels the start of something superb. Where I go after what I want with all the vigor in the world! It has been a great year, and the sequel will be even better. My life has been well and truly a movie time to make 2017 submit and give it all I’ve got.

This has been your Not So Typical,

20SMTHNG