I’m sorry? Always there?

I’m not really gonna use my degree but I’m gonna complete it so it’s always there

This is the type of jargon I hear On a day to day Being a 20SMTHNG. It’s a conundrum I am yet to understand, these guys that complete a degree with no means of pursuing its career path. What is there to it and who thinks in this way?? The methodology of this human strikes me as “one of those stories” the story of the uninspired the story of the under motivated the story, what do you need to know is there why must it be there who put that in your mind.

Then you complain this is the part that infuriates me you will do as your parents ask and go to university get this degree, And complain out loud to everybody else but the people who forced you in this predicament… Maybe I’m just entitled or privileged to some but how can I got to a place and live with the decisions someone else made for me. YIKES! It’s a catch 22 of life, you hate what you do but if you don’t do it you’re bringing shame on your family? So your happiness is intentionally disregarded. 

Now if you’re a doctor, engineer, architect or something of the kind you are needed and required to do something of such a grandiose scale that is so much for the betterment of man which is a noble pursuit not subject to inquiry. It’s taxing and you are entitled to complain every now and then. Especially after you realise how much time you are giving to your craft that’s you. And I am not talking to these people. None the less there’s a faction of people that do Degrees for the “sake” of doing it with no future intentions of being part of the culture the education is intended. Education is important especially for those that need it. To the people that abuse the system it dilutes the resolution of those that come in it with the best of intentions to add to society and grow the culture of the world we live in.

A number of people that seldom love what they do taxes my mind, where I try and have spent time trying to understand the ideals of those that go into things with no intention of fulfilling the field requirements as a lifetime career. The conclusion I’ve come to is they are trying to achieve a societal norm or type of status investment when it is more a detriment to the people who truly want to live the life intended.

I want to finish this with a why question. Why are you doing what you’re doing? As a human, I believe in loving what you do regardless of the price tag attached to it and the sacrifice involved. And when you come to a true resolution you achieve a lot more of your life s purpose. Do you think you’re doing that by living in something you don’t appreciate as much as the person next to you?

Whatever Moves Your Dial,

Not Your Typical

A Dedication Memoir

A wise man says I look for my acres of diamonds where I am. It’s so crazy I got everything figured out but I can never find out what real love is about. Do you think I sacrificed real life, for the dream that should be and not the one that is. You see the phase ‘young and dumb’ or ‘prodigal son’ is what could be used the state of my early 20 something life.

However it was the Not Your Typical one. You see I have been very retrospective the past months leading up to my 25th birthday. I would never have known this is what I would get when I decided to change my ways months before my 22nd or build my new future when I was right on track months before my 24th but here I am. I didn’t know it would take this long but I’m getting happier that I have done the things that I did.

If I were to explain any of my reasons now it would defeat the purpose of even doing what I have did but to document now the feelings that I have bore from the experience that I have had is something I feel I needed to do.

What I do know is that I created a narrative for myself that is like none other and the actions following this will dictate the fruit of my labour.

I’ve been told time and time again to look back to my years of when I was young and do what I did then of course this would he the comfortable option, this would be what is familiar to those that ‘love’ me; this would be what someone who doesn’t know how to grow out of their old self. To be the person I’m supposed to be there was some mental restructuring that needed to take place.  To acquiesce, knowing the mind I had would have took me someplace for certain, the place I’m needed is where the questions lay. Those who understand destroying the old you to get to the new you will understand what I am talking about the most.

Lastly I can’t be sorry for what I have done the past six years. What’s done is done and the Dial points to true north, that being said  regret is not in the vocabulary of progress.

Whatever Moves Your Dial,

NYT20SMTHNG

 

 

This was written in the year of 2017

 

That Which Would Kill Me

I’m feeling awful downtrodden at the moment as I have realised what was apparent to me before became a reality today. Just by understanding the laws I live by (The Principles of Man) or that which would kill me Pride. As good and as noble as I am, as much as I am a pacifist and do not live by the sword but by the pen. I fight my own battles in the field, this world we live in is not as noble as I would like it to be so I harden and grow callous to those negative behaviours and live by my rule humans are basically good.

But that is another blog, what I want to write about is the pride. As much as one can try as a Man can try pride plagues his spirit daily to fight the good fight to make one’s parents PROUD to make one’s family PROUD it’s a shame and not because pride can also save you but pride is what kills the man that sense of duty to one’s people. So who do I see as my people? The Creatives, the Artist, the colours & people of the world. It’s funny to say because I know no one will ever understand the sense of duty I fee to these 7 billion odd residence on our sapphire planet.

My sense of duty is what tugs on my ability to do things what creative answer I give my one motivation for even still being alive is to make the world a better place. It is funny again to me as I know of no one that will understand this more than the dead. See this burden I have no reservations in saying or preaching from a mountain top it is what led to the downfall of a business partnership because I see things they didn’t. Let me just say this, though I am not one of those creatives that feel their words or pictures on the screen will make the world a better place. What I do is a form of escapism it’s cathartic I understand this and feel to create the best fiction possible to allow residents to do this. Let’s get real I see nor has history given me an idea to believe that 1 singular artist body of work changed the world at large. Ruling out writings on the wall made by our ancestors I don’t see it. Unless my Art history is off then I’m sorry, please I would love for my perspective to be changed. Genuinely. I am not bashing what I love I just understand the 21st century we live in today needs a certain type of action, this is all.

Now, as far as duty goes I’ve told you before I have no idea whether I’m ready to risk going to university again. The scariest of proposals made to me, I hear it calling me. My sense of duty and more importantly pride in myself as a man was triggered, I’m not going to say how as that isn’t sauce of my mind I’m willing to let up yet however now it is a must I get that PhD I told myself I was so determined to get at 14. 10 years later I will go all the way, 6 years earlier than expected(I was to wait till I was 30 to reconvene(however I will triple major)) if only he could see it now, the straight path for me never existed did it.

I must stress this is not of my own volition this is all pride duty and a higher calling screaming at me to do so, something more powerful and more forceful than sheer human determination because I tell you now I see myself kicking and screaming internally to do the things that I have been called to do. Of my own volition, I’d be a laptop entrepreneur travel and make artworks on the side! Oh so selfish and oh so impossible, living for myself is my antithesis. I even think if, your immediate community of people you’d look out for at a drop of a dime, is less than 10 you’re not that great of a human being. You have your reasons I love you for it, doesn’t make your mentality better it. And maybe your mind and EQ doesn’t stretch that far (I won’t get into any studies but they exist) but I am built for this. That is what’s funny not many will understand, no one has asked this of me but here I am dealing with this thus ‘That Which Would Kill Me’. I am too prideful to let go of the World, I know I was built to make it better, therefore, I stand in solitude on this pursuit. I understand the death sentence I’ve given myself writing this, I exercise free will every day to make change a reality. Being a laptop Entrepreneur sure is fun but what will I do for the world really? Pray for me is all I ask.

 

As This is

Not Your Typical

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