That Which Would Kill Me

I’m feeling awful downtrodden at the moment as I have realised what was apparent to me before became a reality today. Just by understanding the laws I live by (The Principles of Man) or that which would kill me Pride. As good and as noble as I am, as much as I am a pacifist and do not live by the sword but by the pen. I fight my own battles in the field, this world we live in is not as noble as I would like it to be so I harden and grow callous to those negative behaviours and live by my rule humans are basically good.

But that is another blog, what I want to write about is the pride. As much as one can try as a Man can try pride plagues his spirit daily to fight the good fight to make one’s parents PROUD to make one’s family PROUD it’s a shame and not because pride can also save you but pride is what kills the man that sense of duty to one’s people. So who do I see as my people? The Creatives, the Artist, the colours & people of the world. It’s funny to say because I know no one will ever understand the sense of duty I fee to these 7 billion odd residence on our sapphire planet.

My sense of duty is what tugs on my ability to do things what creative answer I give my one motivation for even still being alive is to make the world a better place. It is funny again to me as I know of no one that will understand this more than the dead. See this burden I have no reservations in saying or preaching from a mountain top it is what led to the downfall of a business partnership because I see things they didn’t. Let me just say this, though I am not one of those creatives that feel their words or pictures on the screen will make the world a better place. What I do is a form of escapism it’s cathartic I understand this and feel to create the best fiction possible to allow residents to do this. Let’s get real I see nor has history given me an idea to believe that 1 singular artist body of work changed the world at large. Ruling out writings on the wall made by our ancestors I don’t see it. Unless my Art history is off then I’m sorry, please I would love for my perspective to be changed. Genuinely. I am not bashing what I love I just understand the 21st century we live in today needs a certain type of action, this is all.

Now, as far as duty goes I’ve told you before I have no idea whether I’m ready to risk going to university again. The scariest of proposals made to me, I hear it calling me. My sense of duty and more importantly pride in myself as a man was triggered, I’m not going to say how as that isn’t sauce of my mind I’m willing to let up yet however now it is a must I get that PhD I told myself I was so determined to get at 14. 10 years later I will go all the way, 6 years earlier than expected(I was to wait till I was 30 to reconvene(however I will triple major)) if only he could see it now, the straight path for me never existed did it.

I must stress this is not of my own volition this is all pride duty and a higher calling screaming at me to do so, something more powerful and more forceful than sheer human determination because I tell you now I see myself kicking and screaming internally to do the things that I have been called to do. Of my own volition, I’d be a laptop entrepreneur travel and make artworks on the side! Oh so selfish and oh so impossible, living for myself is my antithesis. I even think if, your immediate community of people you’d look out for at a drop of a dime, is less than 10 you’re not that great of a human being. You have your reasons I love you for it, doesn’t make your mentality better it. And maybe your mind and EQ doesn’t stretch that far (I won’t get into any studies but they exist) but I am built for this. That is what’s funny not many will understand, no one has asked this of me but here I am dealing with this thus ‘That Which Would Kill Me’. I am too prideful to let go of the World, I know I was built to make it better, therefore, I stand in solitude on this pursuit. I understand the death sentence I’ve given myself writing this, I exercise free will every day to make change a reality. Being a laptop Entrepreneur sure is fun but what will I do for the world really? Pray for me is all I ask.

 

As This is

Not Your Typical

We’re learning more of – Whatever Moves Your Dial

Damilare. Not Your Typical

Follow my socials Instagram: @nytypical Twitter: @nytypical

If you enjoyed this please check out More of Thoughts On:

For some longer form write ups Read some of My Dialogues

Click here for my Essays 

To learn more about Owning Your Own Ship – OYOS  

Paradigm shifting phrase “I don’t believe you can learn anything from my CV that you can’t learn right now.”

Excerpt from Owning Your Own Ship 2/3

I stood in front of her and said,

Me:
“I don’t believe you can learn anything from my CV that you can’t learn right now.”

And we spoke there for some time.

 

 

Not Your Typical

Owning Your Own Ship – OYOS 3 Part Play 1/3

We Go Again,

What would you do if you could do anything? This is quite literally the question I asked myself when I cauterized the hemorrhage – Dropped out of uni – My Mindset for what I could achieve was at an all time high, I had just finished my last assignment, became an early periscope influence and became a top t-shirt salesman in my town to small businesses. Utilizing skills I developed on my own I felt invigorated to do it again and again and again.

The first part of getting a job. Get a job, and what’s the best job. Yourself! Wise words from a phenomenal mentor. I will write another blog about how I became “Not so Typical.” I was able to really bolster myself even in the face of massive losses and adversity. This is the story of me getting a Job called “Owning my Own Ship.”All because I did not feel like waiting.

Let me set the scene, I was in such a great place mentally after selling the way I did giving items to customers I saw myself doing this Long term. No matter what I will always want to deliver phenomenal products to a client, no matter how much blood sweat and tears it takes – I promised it I can’t be in the place to make excuses you deserve a great product – And namely I do not lie cheat or steal from anyone, this did not hold well at all in some cases.

This However is the story of how I “won” at a Car company. One I have been to a couple of other times as a customer, laughable now I know just as a preface. That year I came there maybe twice (Not so important). What is though is me telling my parents I will not be completing my course. They threw one hell of a conniption, to say the least, they are no excuses type of people. I didn’t want to move back home and I had roots in my city. In my mind I was not going anywhere, this was my problem my business partner had left uni for home. So I was out of work and soon out of money and poverty& homelessness did not smell well. I was somewhat desperate but I was as confident as I could be.

As the guy that was always spouting “nonsense” about never giving up and following your dreams as a 20SMTHNG on periscope I put my money where my mouth was, bet. My job was me. I was going to work it. I put on my best dressed, looked up my companies and put myself out there.

Strutting into BMW with my chest out my feathers primed I was ready to get a job. walk into the “Gatekeepers”

Me:
I heard you have jobs for a used car salesman can I speak to… Please

Let’s call him Richard as the shorthand for Richard is Dick

Gatekeeper:
They aren’t here you can call this number and come back with an appointment

I laughed in my head because I could tell she was lying, even though this is Not a Typical thing, and it was so on brand. I was still shaking in my wingtips. Regardless, what I did I still regard as one of the coolest things I’ve done till this day.

I called her bluff and called the number. Yep as I was walking out I swiftly called the number and as she picked up I turned around and said. ‘Oh is this Richards office’ and looked her dead in the eyes, She was stumped and I was told to take a seat at the back, the other gatekeeper got me a coffee and that was that for 5 minutes.

Not taking no for an answer and beating down doors I got routed and re-routed, my tenacity was at an all time high and my self-effacing nature took no prisoners. Well done me, I found him. Knocking down the door I went in blind and assessed nothing. I looked him dead in the eyes stayed at the door and said bluntly

Me:
I’m here for a job

Richard:
drop me a CV like everyone else

A few more words were exchanged and I looked him in the face and knew he wasn’t ready for the type of energy I would bring to the table at the time. I fell flat on my face.  The day had just begun, I felt the sub was a take for me to understand the flow and pacing of what needed to be said I couldn’t stop someone from feeling a certain type of way about me and I was once told I am steadfast and self-affirming to let most things get in my way… With this in mind, I knew it was just the beginning of the day and that car dealership was not my only stop. On to the next one, even more, Zealous than before. Time to change the tempo and feed off the  momentum of the day

Whatever Moves Your Dial

Damilare. Not Your Typical

Follow my socials Instagram: @nytypical Twitter: @nytypical

Please check out Some of my Thoughts On:

For some longer form write ups Read some of My Dialogues

I would love for you to read  my Essays 

To learn more about Owning Your Own Ship – OYOS  

 

to learn more aboutOwning Your Own Ship – OYOS